i don’t
i had a new pet duck,
it was brand new, so i was keeping it in an igloo,
the 6-pack kind,
and it was floating,…. not in water, but in white wine,
it seemed happy, but i noticed it dipping it’s bill into the “water”,
which was, of course, white wine,
i though it might not be great for the duck to actually drink
the wine, so I move it to another container,
it was full of water and slightly larger,
i placed the cute pet duck in the water,
it sank,
Do you know better than I?
Take the quiz from
I’m running late to the big top…
-b
LJer 1: What’s your new interest?
LJer 2: Why it’s Charley’s Big Top Lounge, of course!
Idiots shop at Wal-Mart. Of course this is nothing new. Truisms that perhaps your average Wal-Mart shopper doesn’t know…
March 10, 2004,
12:18AMWal-Mart shopper comes up zero with bogus bills
By ERIC STIRGUS
Atlanta Constitution
ATLANTA — Maybe it was the funny-looking image of the Statue of Liberty that raised the cashier’s suspicions.
Or maybe it was the number of zeros.
Either way, Janice Sanders, a cashier at the Wal-Mart store in Covington, Ga., thought better than to take the $1 million bill.
Yes, $1 million.
So Sanders called her manager, who called Covington police, who arrested the woman, Alice Pike, 35.
The federal government, by the way, doesn’t make $1 million bills. They only go as high as $100 bills. In 1969, the Department of the Treasury and the Federal Reserve System discontinued currency notes in denominations of $500, $1,000, $5,000, and $10,000 due to lack of use.
“This is the first time in my law enforcement career I’ve seen someone trying to use a$1 million bill,” said Covington Assistant Police Chief Almond Turner, who’s been an officer for 31 years. “It was green, but you could tell it was not a real bill.”
Pike was being held Tuesday at Newton County Jail on $2,550 bail. She is charged with first-degree forgery.
On Friday, Pike tried to use a couple of Wal-Mart cards to pay for $1,671.55 worth of items. But she only had a total of $2.32 on the cards, police said, so she handed the cashier a $1 million bill. Pike then asked for change, police said. That would be $998,328.45. When police arrived, Pike pulled two more $1 million bills from her purse.
Pike told police she got the money from her husband, said Turner, who wasn’t sure if the man had been questioned.
-b
BBQ man Adam Fisher mentioned to me that he is having a surprise birthday party for his wife Lena on thursday at 6pm under the Big Top. So, if you like to celebrate her birthday, come on out.
-b
In an attempt to reduce the amount of bile being generated across the nation, because of policies of the Bush administration, misguided doctors yesterday removed the gall bladder of John Ashcroft.
Surgeons Remove Ashcroft’s Gallbladder
March 9, 2004
By LAURAN NEERGAARD, AP Medical Writer
WASHINGTON – Surgeons successfully removed Attorney General John Ashcroft (news – web sites)’s gallbladder on Tuesday to prevent a recurrence of the gallstone-caused pancreatitis that sent him to intensive care.
Ashcroft came through the minimally invasive surgery well but was being monitored closely for complications, said Dr. Bruce Abell, who performed the procedure at George Washington University Hospital.
Ashcroft probably will remain in the hospital four or five more days, typical for a pancreatitis patient who undergoes the gallbladder procedure, he said.
“Long term, he should have a complete recovery,” Abell told reporters.
Severe pancreatitis is a serious and painful abdominal condition that sometimes is fatal. Ashcroft, 61, was diagnosed with the condition, triggered by a gallstone, on Thursday.
That Ashcroft already was strong enough to undergo surgery to prevent future pancreas attacks was a good sign. Patients with severe pancreatitis often spend several weeks in the hospital before they can withstand such an operation.
Pancreatitis is an inflammation of the pancreas, a gland that secretes digestive enzymes and insulin. The two main causes are alcohol abuse and, as in Ashcroft’s case, a gallstone that blocks the passage from the pancreas to the small intestine. Symptoms include sudden, severe abdominal pain, loss of appetite, nausea, vomiting and fever. About 20 percent of the 80,000 cases of acute pancreatitis that occur each year are severe, according to the National Institutes of Health (news – web sites).
The gallstone that harmed Ashcroft’s pancreas eventually passed on its own, Abell said Tuesday.
Another good sign: Ashcroft’s pancreas showed no sign of the tissue death, called necrosis, which can lead to life-threatening infections in patients with severe pancreatitis, he said.
But examination of his gallbladder showed several more gallstones were present that could trigger another bout of pancreatitis if they, too, got stuck.
The gallbladder, a small, pear-shaped organ, stores bile produced by the liver until it’s needed for digestion. The body can adapt to do without it, so Ashcroft’s doctors decided to remove his.
The procedure, which lasted about two hours, was performed laparoscopically, meaning doctors operated through small incisions in the abdomen, guided by a tiny camera.
An otherwise healthy patient who undergoes laparoscopic gallbladder removal typically goes home the next day, but recovery is longer for someone weakened by pancreatitis.
Still, Tuesday’s operation signals Ashcroft is “bouncing back very rapidly,” said Dr. David Whitcomb, chief of gastroenterology at the University of Pittsburgh. “If the pancreatitis came from gallstones, then removal of the gallbladder almost always prevents this from coming back, and he should have a complete recovery.”
Without a gallbladder, the liver regularly secretes bile to the intestine instead of storing it. Patients don’t have major dietary restrictions, but they’re advised to limit fatty foods and to eat regularly, Whitcomb said.
Pancreatitis treatment involves fasting, with intravenous or tube feeding instead, to allow the pancreas to rest by reducing its secretions. Before Ashcroft can go home, he’ll likely be given a small test meal of easy-to-digest food to ensure the pancreas has resumed proper function. He then work back up to a regular diet.
Patients usually are weak, but an otherwise healthy person like Ashcroft, who is something of a fitness buff, can get back to normal within a week or two after being released from the hospital, Whitcomb said.
Also known as Jay Lee Syndrome…. . . . [rimshot]
-b
