rear view of Subaru Forester without a back window

Crawl On In

As you may or may not know, I drive a car with no back windshield.  It only costs a few hundred dollars to replace; I can easily afford to replace it.  I don’t mind it being out.

rear view of Subaru Forester without a back window
Back window: unneeded.

It got knocked out by some drunk douchy 20-somethings in a Jeep. They were drinking coronas and headed for some velvet rope bar in Mid Town after asking the parking lot attendant at the Continental Club where it was. They projectile-disposed of their bottles and one took out my back window.  I was parallel parked on a side-street.

Anyway, I drive my 2000 Subaru Forester around without a back window.

I parked it overnight in upper Montrose last week.  A few blocks from Cecil’s bar.  In the morning it was clear that someone had “broken in”.  Not actually broken anything, but illegally entered my car by crawling in the back window.

Normally my back seats are folded down. They had been placed back up to better access the literal junk that’s in my car and needs to be thrown away.  All the junk (empty bottles and cans, junk mail, junk food wrappers, free newspapers, …) was nicely shuffled and aerated.

All my insurance and business cards were knocked off the sun visor. The manual was dutifully removed from the glovebox, as was the air pressure gauge and spare pen.  The drugs I had in the car (ibuprofen and Benadryl – both car cooked into unknown pharmaceutical forms) still remained.  The cash ($2) in my ash tray and checkbook remained behind.  There were several phone charging cables that remained.

I noticed the passenger door was unlocked, no doubt their egress.  I also noticed the eyeglass holder was empty.  My cheap sunglasses has been increasingly annoying me lately.  I have been meaning to replace them.  The annoyance of their catawampus alignment hadn’t quite co-incided with my presence at a place to replace them.  I dug through the detritus before leaving and could not find them.

That bastard had stollen my crappy sunglasses.  Good riddance, and thanks dumb ass bastard.  Did you really think I would have anything of value in an unlockable car?

I drove straight to the grocery store for some breakfast, some Dr Pepper, and some new $10 sunglasses that fit quite nicely.